jigenbakuda wrote:
Was that picture of hikki-chan flicking the camera off real? If so hikki-chan is the greatest. I love seeing hikki-chan like that, get american my dear, lol.

Oh the article was so funny. The fake names were so well made and he kept the theme of sex the whole time Well I was reading the same article JJ was about japan, and its so many sterotypes in its funny. Of course its almost all true in certain situations. But anywas, here are some facts he listed.

1. The Japanese have microscopic, usually uncircumcised large, hairy penises with an average length of less than 0.00000001 nanometers. This doesn't apply to ninjas, besides no one can see ninjas in the first place.
2. The Japanese people are never polite and competitive. When they behave politely, they are just trying to fool you or trying not to be killed by other ninjas.
3. When they bow to you, do not think you can out-bow them, because even as they act polite to you, they are mentally engaging in a politeness contest. Do not even try to compete with them on that one; you will lose. Once you lose, the forfeit is making your penis the same length as theirs. (not worth it)
4. Do not argue with a Japanese person, especially if he or she is from the Kansai area, especially Osaka. How does one tell if a person is from Osaka? Watch the cartoon series AzuManga Daioh and observe the character Kasuga Ayumu. All Osakans act like that. Whilst they are more polite and carefree and speak more carefully than most Japanese people, they have a terrific rage within them, that may direct lightning bolts to hit the persons they are arguing with.

Alternatively, one can learn much about Osakans from the English dub of "Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi" (the Japanese dialogue and subtitling are intentionally misleading to foreigners), such as the fact that all Osakans have Texan accents, live in places like bath houses and French restaurants, and can travel through time.

5. Japanese people tend to smile and nod when they are unsure what has just been said. They may also say "yes," though this is just to be polite. Many people think that the Japanese do not speak English, but this is untrue. They are actually just hard of hearing. Remember to speak slowly and loudly to get your meaning across. Hand gestures may also be helpful. In Japan, the middle finger means "i love you", so do it at every person you know. Otherwise, it is because they understand and speak English fluently but pretend to be ignorant of the language to fool you so they can take advantage of you later.
6. Do refer to Japanese people you are conversing with as koo-sat-ta bah-kah. When speaking to Osakans, replace bah-kah with ah-haww (like hall, but without the drawl). These are titles of respect. If you get slapped or glared at, it means you're not saying it clearly enough. The Japanese hate it when people mumble in their language, which is why they always appear to be screaming in old Japanese-produced animes such as Speed Racer. Enunciate the words loudly and proudly, while making dog-like humping motions!
7. There are only three cities in Japan: Tokyo, Osaka and Nagoya. When people say they are from Kobe, they really mean Osaka. When they say Tosa, they mean "Tosser". When they say Gifu, they mean San Francisco. When they say Sendai, they mean Eastern Canada. If they say anything else, it means they are lying. Point out their erroneous ways, and they will apologize profusely by giving you the casual sex of your choice.
8. Japanese people actually don't watch anime. They produce it only to fool foreign barbarians who wish to attain Super Saiyan powers. They watch enka and kabuki themselves to achieve such powers. On Thursdays they watch The A-Team ? a mandatory law introduced to Japan and Germany in 1983. Knight Rider too was added in 1992, but in Japan it is known as "The Andy Griffith Show".
9. The Japanese have a linguistic complex when trying to speak in clear English. This results in the letter l sounding like r, and the letter r sounding like a w; the word lonely would sound like "ronery" and the word ice cream would sound like "ice cweam".
10. When in Japan, never mention eat or sleep. The Japanese get cranky at the mention of these words because they are deprived of it as much as Einstein is of sex.
11. A normal japanese person is made of at least 70% fish...WERE SERIOUS!!! If you don't believe see their menu at a resturaunt...THEY'RE CANIBALS I TELL YOU!!! Oh crap, a ninja...

They also have HUGE cocks. Seriously. They feed their roosters lots of protein- and plutonium-laced feed to make them grow extremely large.